How to chase it away?

[roseline371274]

As a tribute to the wasp that he is madly approaching, I cannot recommend highly enough, fellow hunters, a huge electric racket or a flip-flop about 3 meters high to throw at his mouth. If you have chosen the racket, remember to bring spare batteries so that you can fry the animal long enough to make it feel in a proportionally tiny way the pain you experienced while supporting it. You can also use a cell phone jammer: this being a vital organ of the animal, if it no longer has 3G, its heart stops immediately.

What if I catch one?

Don't give him your number, then send the baygon.

3 minutes before Vlad the Impaler returns
The selfie stick
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the selfie stick person is easily industry email list recognized by his pole, which he uses to show that he is so repulsive that no one would even dare help him take a photo. Legend has it that his pole is the equivalent of a unicorn's horn, and that whoever grabs it can have one of his wishes come true, such as "  I wish all selfie stick people would die  " or "  I wish Nicolas Cage would release a new movie  " (hey, possible wishes are at the object level, eh!). We can therefore recognize the selfie stick person by this curious protuberance with which he walks, and which sometimes makes a camera noise. Sometimes the pole vaulter walks with non-pole vaulters (we assume they are the females of his species given the lack of a pole, or something like that) with whom he takes pictures while trying to hide as much as possible of what is behind them. Preferably while giggling, otherwise it's less funny.

How to chase it away?

If you've been following along (and I know you have because that's how you are), you need to pull out the pole, why not make a wish, then, beat the pole vaulter with his own appendage, preferably with relatively sharp gestures to put as much energy into it as possible and make A Clockwork Orange look like an episode of Dora the Explorer . There's no need to have a particular method for approaching him, except for this advice: the pole vaulter spends his time taking selfies, he only sees behind his back. So think about approaching from the front (and preferably without being downwind so as not to alert him), and quite logically, he will only spot you shortly before receiving his first blow from his own pole. Be careful, however, if he's in a group, to attack you in a pack: the survivors could themselves become pole vaulters (according to observations, when the dominant male disappears, the females let the pole grow). So be careful.